Darling Harbour by Night, Bondi Beach by Day

What a superb 24 hours. Last night I and the blokes from the room went to Darling Harbour, on the off chance we happened upon some live music, a covers band in a place called Tokio Hotel,

Fortunately it wasn't as confusing as this guy(?)

The band went by the name of... um... I don’t recall their name, but they were good. We also met up with Zoe, the German girl who was once part of our room’s motley crew! We got talking to a couple of Americans and an Aussie girl, the Aussie seemed to really like Queens of the Stone Age. The beers did flow and the music was funky so dancing was on the cards and dance we did! Here’s a short video of the band to create some ambience for the following pictures...

One native New Yorker and his crazy Aussie companion.

This is Mark, our resident Czech guy!

Coolest table in the building!

So that was Darling Harbour, this morning Matteo, Alex and myself were supposed to go to the Blue Mountains, but it seemed pointless as it takes two hours on the train to get there and as we didn't wake up until about 11. So if we did go we’d have about two hours of daylight before having to come back. So Alex and I went to Bondi Beach (Matteo wanted to sleep some more). We wondered around the beach, got our feet wet and managed to do some pretty risky climbing...

Cool...

...Still cool!

Inappropriate footwear makes this kind of thing even more fun!

Pictured: Fun

And then we bumped into two people from our hostel, Ben and Harriet (Harriet from our room, which was a nice coincidence). So Ben, Harriet, Alex and me trotted off towards Tamarama Beach and watched the sky change colour as the sun set behind Bondi, of course we did have a laugh on our mini adventure as well but the sun set was a nice close to the day.

Tamarama beach, if you squint you can see New Zealand.

Kudos to Alex for this pic of Bondi.

Tomorrow I will venture to the Blue Mountains and I have also promised myself that I will go to Manly beach next week and actually try my hand at surfing!

What's the worst that could happen?

Take it to the Bridge!

Thursday I got somebody to sign up to Save the Children, so I’m still ‘chegging’ although today I had a day off so I decided to activate tourist mode. I wandered around North Sydney after trekking across the Harbour Bridge. I realised that walking along the top of the bridge must be worth $250 when the view from the ‘free’ footpath below is this...

Well Australia was a penal colony. (Stop giggling you two!) 

After a little while I looked to the right and noticed this...

...which is much nicer and I can’t imagine it being any better after paying $250 to see it from a little higher up.

The area around the north side of the bridge is really nice, with lots of nice looking houses, small shops and a few green areas (as well as a fun fair). I had a clear view of the opposite side of the harbour and there were hardly any other people around so it was really quiet.

I walked over to Luna Park, which at first I thought meant luna as in ‘moon’, now I know different... 

It’s luna as in ‘tic’ 

Luckily there was a really nice bar nearby, so I had a quick schooner to dampen the ‘freaked out feeling’ before continuing. 

A good picture to sum up the day.

Later on I had my first fish and chips in Australia! Obviously the fish wasn't cod, but New Zealand hake is still nice when fried in batter. So after munching that down I walked back over the bridge and to the Hostel. That’s about it really, except I saw a very informative poster on the way back... 

Yeah, Jesus! Stop driving into oncoming traffic!

Ryan the Employable (Evaluation Day pt 3)

So now I have a concern. If all of the jobs available are sales jobs is Sydney worth staying in?

I went to the mysterious ‘other interview’ today to find it was yet another sales team job, walking around selling cheap car check up deals for Goodyear and Bridgestone (commissioned based of course) so I’m sticking with Public Outreach for now, although it is nice to know I can do exactly the same job again if I don’t stay. Did I mention I was accepted for both these other jobs? Even though the first one I was barely interviewed at all and today’s was a similar affair except there was a group of us being non-interviewed (by another Scotsman). Of course they probably have a high turnover of staff due to commission based work being really really shit so interviewing people is probably a waste of time.

'I'm not going to waste my time asking you losers questions.'

So I’m currently looking into travelling northwards and maybe working on a ranch to get some money and see more of Australia. Naturally I will stay at Public Outreach as long as I can to try and get some more money, but having a backup plan is never a bad idea.

Exception that proves the rule

There is probably a sizeable section of readers wondering what happened to Chad Day after Evaluation Day pt 2. Well after base jumping into his Lambo he sped to the marina to catch Bailiff before he rode his (recently acquired) yacht into the sunset and disappeared forever...

Speaking of yachts, The World Boat Show is in Sydney at the moment and I went to the National Maritime Museum today after my non-interview. It was a lovely day and entry was free, but to step aboard the various vessels outside you need to pay, so I just admired the exteriors of the ships and looked around inside. The Scott of the Antarctic thing was pretty cool and there were some great little exhibitions, plus it was free so it’s all good! 

<Insert fat girl joke>

Meanwhile Chad has made it to the marina, but he is too late. Bailiff is heading out to sea! Day thinks quickly and uses his powers of evaluation to come up with a scheme to catch Bailiff. He opts to drive up to the top of a nearby cliff. Day then proceeds to reverse the Lambo and wait... Bailiff is sure Day is dead and decides to retreat to the sleeping quarters of the yacht. Day sees his opportunity and drives at top speed to the edge of the cliff, throwing the Lambo off into the ocean below. At least it would have hit the ocean had Bailiff’s yacht not been in the way! The car cuts through the middle of the boat, Bailiff is trapped, he looks up to see Chad Day standing atop the cliff face. Chad turns away as Bailiff screams ‘I WILL GET YOU DAY, I GUARANTEE IT!’ The car and boat explode in true Michael Bay style, Day doesn’t look back (because he is cool like that) he takes his sunglasses from his top pocket and says ‘Looks like you’ve defaulted on your life’ and walks off with the smoke raising behind him and a kick ass rock song in over the top.

Like this, but with a suit and sunglasses.

So I'll be back Saving the Children tomorrow, but I will have that feeling that I'm there on borrowed time, which is normal...Cue credits!

Update: I will be in Bankstown tomorrow... which could be interesting.

'Evaluation Day' Part 2 of 3

Previously on Ryan’s Awesome Australian Adventure...
Ryan has a job interview with Legacy Marketing
Ryan has to call back another potential job interview
Chad Day has to defeat Dr. Bailiff in his ‘newly acquired’ penthouse...

I have been in a fair few job interviews before, this one was definitely the strangest. I walked into the ‘reception’ which had a plasma screen blaring out JLo’s latest single at quite a high volume. I was greeted by a nice young lady and I said ‘I think I’m in the right place, I’m here for an interview’, I filled out a form that involved a few white lies (8 GCSE’s A-C won’t hurt anybody) and after around 10 minutes of having my head smashed by dance music I met Dave, the guy running the show. I was led into the ‘board room’ which was a table with 8 seats in a cubicle. The soundtrack had changed to a different generic house song but was still distracting. I aced the interview by not saying anything because Dave, who is a Scottish PE teacher that came to Australia 4 years ago and started working in marketing because he had a teaching job waiting in America but needed to wait 1 year before he could start so decided to get a temporary job, wouldn’t shut up for more than 3 seconds. He said he wanted to find out what kind of person I was, so I nodded in a way that made me seem like a good team worker that would be a great asset to his company. 

Luckily he didn't ask about Michael Bolton.

Meanwhile, Chad Day has realised that Dr. Bailiff’s new apartment is the same that his brother, Daniel Day, had repossessed. Chad must end Bailiff’s reign of terror on those who fail to keep up mortgage repayments.

After 5 minutes of telling Dave nothing about myself, I was told I had been shortlisted and should hang around for 20 minutes as the ‘first stage seminar’ was going to take place... Right now you are thinking ‘Well done Ryan, you must have come across really well in the interview.’ Well, to be honest the 2 times I did speak I ummed and ahhed my way through the answer as I had no idea what Dave’s company actually did. Well I’ll let you play a game for a second... 

It won't be as awful as the Saw movies.

You are told you have an interview with a marketing company, you have media related qualifications and interests that you bring up in the interview. You are accepted into the next stage of the interview process. The company must be,

A) An advertising company
B) A company that specialises in advertising
C) A company that advertises products for clients
D) A GODDAMMED FUNDRAISING COMPANY!

I may have given the game away with the capital letters, but this particular company was an affiliate of Amcco, which helps increase custom for various companies including Vodaphone, Australian Gas and Electricity and charities. How do they do this? Through face to face marketing... 

'I'm here to face to face market for the Red Cross...'

Meanwhile, Chad has been lured into a trap. Bailiff escapes and explains his plan to ‘repossess the world’ via video message. Chad jumps through the penthouse window just before the flat explodes for no reason. Chad releases his parachute and vows to stop Bailiff before it’s too late. Landing in the driver’s seat of his Lamborghini Spyder he roars off in search of Bailiff...

'BAAAAAAAILIIIIIIIIIFF....'

The difference is this company, Legacy Marketing, gives opportunities for managing your own team and becoming a share holder yadda yadda bullshit. It’s commissioned based fundraising with a misleading name. Waste of time. Tomorrow I'm chatting to Hannah Direct for a sales rep job...

Sales Rep could mean many things, but I think I can guess what it entails this time.

I might just go and do fruit picking elsewhere as Sydney is just a sea of fundraising jobs, something that I'm not too great at. Maybe Hannah Direct will be different, like how violet is different to purple.

They are just sooooo different.

So now Ryan has to meet the mysterious ‘Hannah Direct’, but will Chad Day save the world in time? Tune in next time...

Still Employed

OK, so today was my 'Evaluation Day', which could be the title of an 80's action movie featuring an ass kicking estate agent called 'Chad Day',

The asking price is non negotiable, but I will throw in a can of whoopass!

So today I was in the odd area known as 'Newtown'. I have never seen so many crazy haircuts, I think the hairdressers must have faulty clippers as most of the people only had parts of their heads shaved, some girl even had a 'rat tail' which just looks dumb. It is nice when, in an attempt to be individual, somebody will get an outrageous haircut that everybody else has. Also the lesbian thing was true but Newtown is also disturbingly hippyish.

To my surprise I actually got a guy to sign up and even more surprising was he did it because Save the Children is not a 'Christian charity' like World Vision. The irony lay in the location which happened to be just outside a church. Good stuff.
So my evaluation period has been extended, like that scene in Evaluation Day where the bad guy refuses to die...

'You seem surprised Mr. Day. Did you not evaluate the situation correctly?'

In an M.Night Shaymamalalama style twist I have also been asked to go to a different job tomorrow for an 'informal chat'. I applied through Gumtree on Friday as I thought today would be my last at Public Outreach and awkwardly I got a phone call whilst at work. BUT THAT'S NOT THE ONLY TWIST!

A double twist? Why didn't I think of that?

I also got a missed call from another job that I applied for via Gumtree, however when I called back it went straight to answer phone so I left a message and will call back tomorrow.

So in true dramatic style I'm leaving this on a cliffhanger- Will Ryan stay at Public Outreach? What are these mysterious other jobs? Will Chad Day finally defeat the evil Doctor Bailiff? Find out next time on Ryan's Awesome Australian Adventure!- Cue credits with inspirational 80's music...

'Evaluation Day' is the intellectual property of Ryan Whitwell. If you would like to create this epic movie based around the cut throat world of real estate then my fee is £5.50 and a cup of tea.

This could be the last time, maybe the last time I don’t know?

Oh no... Tomorrow I have to work, for (in case you haven’t guessed) maybe the last time. But to tell you about that would mean I would be all ‘non-linear’ and annoying. So Friday I was free to walk around and take pictures of parades against communism and get my TFN (finally) and then came Saturday...

FIIIIIIIGHT!

I wasn’t needed for work so I decided to wonder about, like you do. I went to the ‘Centre of Photography’ on Oxford Street (not the gay part, although there was a photo of a man with a full erection dressed as an angel, but I’m sure that was taking with completely heterosexual intentions). I then decided that Paddington Reservoir would be a good place to prove that turgid penises are not what photography is about and took a few snaps. In my pretentiousness I imagined how I would describe my images. 

It 'reflects' the pillars of society that are quite old but re-enforced with modern values

Arches that support nothing are like Greek social workers...

On Renny Lane there is a loser taking photographs, without indigestion.

I went back to the hostel, but not before visiting the NSW Art Gallery where I realised that art can be more than just a pile of bricks or an unmade bed. The sculpture of ‘An Athlete Struggling With A Cobra’ is so ShitBad that words could not describe just how awesome an album cover would be if it was inspired by the Fredric Leighton sculpture.

Pictured: Pure awesomeness

 Art is great sometimes. It can conjure images of childhood, the human psyche and HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT?!?!

Great use of colour...

An interesting take on the human form...

WHAT THE PUTAN?!?!

So after running as fast as I could away from the grinning freak child and her companion, I found myself back at the hostel. I had dinner and then after a while decided to go to Darling Harbour with two French people (Alex and Lucie (previously misspelt as Lucy)) But first we bumped into Australia’s most deadly tree climbing furry monstrosity, THE POSSUM! Photos below...

It will kill you...

I'm on a bridge!

Another ShitBad sculpture that looks even cooler at night

Yes that is my Gorrilapod in action helping me take some brilliant night shots!

Impressed? Well good. So back to today. I went to the Rocks market after helping Zoe (the German girl, although there is another German girl called Tabia now) carry some stuff into her new apartment (which is in Darling Harbour). I can’t remember if I mentioned the two Frenchies who were in my room when I began my adventure for reals have left for the Gold Coast (as of tomorrow, Lucie will be going that way too), but that is the way of the hostel, people are constantly on differing paths and although we create bonds as our paths cross we must realise that that bond is temporary. So on a less philosophical note, I, Alex, Zoe and Matteo went to the rocks to see the market, which was actually kind of cool, and we also met up with Lucie and wandered around like the coolest European party ever formed!

Pictured: The European Union of Awesome!

Part of The Rocks market

 Good fun, but then the realisation that working tomorrow may be the most awkward feeling ever seeing as I have already accepted that I won’t be there the day after. Weirder still is that my ‘last day’ will be in Newtown, the lesbian area of Sydney. So not only do I have to get 2 people to sign up but those 2 people will most likely be man haters that will no doubt criticise me for have a ‘bite’. I have been researching lesbian culture via South Park, so as long as I know what scissoring is I can ‘relate’ to lesbian culture.

Scissor Me Timbers

So that's a good run down of my weekend. TTFN! Meanwhile heres some slideshow action!