Still Employed

OK, so today was my 'Evaluation Day', which could be the title of an 80's action movie featuring an ass kicking estate agent called 'Chad Day',

The asking price is non negotiable, but I will throw in a can of whoopass!

So today I was in the odd area known as 'Newtown'. I have never seen so many crazy haircuts, I think the hairdressers must have faulty clippers as most of the people only had parts of their heads shaved, some girl even had a 'rat tail' which just looks dumb. It is nice when, in an attempt to be individual, somebody will get an outrageous haircut that everybody else has. Also the lesbian thing was true but Newtown is also disturbingly hippyish.

To my surprise I actually got a guy to sign up and even more surprising was he did it because Save the Children is not a 'Christian charity' like World Vision. The irony lay in the location which happened to be just outside a church. Good stuff.
So my evaluation period has been extended, like that scene in Evaluation Day where the bad guy refuses to die...

'You seem surprised Mr. Day. Did you not evaluate the situation correctly?'

In an M.Night Shaymamalalama style twist I have also been asked to go to a different job tomorrow for an 'informal chat'. I applied through Gumtree on Friday as I thought today would be my last at Public Outreach and awkwardly I got a phone call whilst at work. BUT THAT'S NOT THE ONLY TWIST!

A double twist? Why didn't I think of that?

I also got a missed call from another job that I applied for via Gumtree, however when I called back it went straight to answer phone so I left a message and will call back tomorrow.

So in true dramatic style I'm leaving this on a cliffhanger- Will Ryan stay at Public Outreach? What are these mysterious other jobs? Will Chad Day finally defeat the evil Doctor Bailiff? Find out next time on Ryan's Awesome Australian Adventure!- Cue credits with inspirational 80's music...

'Evaluation Day' is the intellectual property of Ryan Whitwell. If you would like to create this epic movie based around the cut throat world of real estate then my fee is £5.50 and a cup of tea.

The Final Countdown... Dadadaa daa dadadadadaaaa...

Tomorrow I find out if I stay or if I go-o. I met the boss, Ben, again today who said my attitude is brilliant and if I keep it up I shouldn't have any trouble getting people to sign up PS you need to get two sign ups tomorrow. That's double my previous record and if it's anything like today, c'est impossible. Like most things in Oz, the rain is bigger and angrier, I would have thought these monsoon conditions would have toughened up the Aussies over the years, but alas they still whinge... constantly, similar to how Brits whine about public transport! Today I was working with Keon(?), another guy who's name escapes me, Sam and Max (not as cool as the actual Sam and Max)

If only....

They are all nice guys and continuously mention how positive I am even though the weather ist Scheiße and people aren't signing up. Sadly the weather tomorrow is forecast as being as bad as today so even if I get one sign up I'll be so shocked I may keel over.

Another bit of news is that my iPod got slightly water damaged yesterday so now the 'hold' button doesn't work. Which is great because I think my iPod has gained sentience as it seems to turn up the volume to ear bleeding levels just before the guitar solos kick in...

BUT IT STILL DOESN'T READ!

So tomorrow is judgement day, time to rise up back on the street, Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet Just a man and his will to survive...

Mmmmnnnmmmrrrmmm, Mrrrmmmm rmm... ADRIAAAAAAN!

Work and... Not much else.

So after a pretty naff first day I went to the weekly meeting on Tuesday with a less optimistic outlook on the whole enterprise. Standing for 8 hours in the street being constantly refused ‘2 minutes of your time’ is not as much fun as I first thought. So my natural pessimism was seeping into my consciousness, fortunately the team at Public Outreach are a good bunch of guys and girls and all seemed to be really enthusiastic...

Because enthusiasm makes you invincible!

Which is good and slightly annoying at the same time. So we (the new people) introduced ourselves to everybody and were told to play a few team based games (the sort of thing 5 year old kids do in PE, like everybody grabs the hands of two random people and then as a group try to untangle ourselves).  Pretty good fun, but I was still dreading going out onto the street as I really needed somebody to sign up, otherwise I probably wouldn't pass my evaluation and I’d be looking for work again.

So out we went, to the corner of George and Liverpool street. Three of us again but a new location, which was so windy I was certain the obese flatulence awareness society were in town. This gave everybody an excuse to not stop, because Aussies are wimps and the slightest breeze makes them think that they should be wearing ski jackets and wooly hats. ‘It’s too cold’, said the Australian in the parker jacket, ‘Aren’t you cold out here?’ asked another weakling. ‘No?’ I thought ‘Are you sure you still have a pulse?’

Pictured: An Australian in 20oC heat

So hours went by, I talked to a few people with little results until out of nowhere my eyes fell onto a girl and by chance her eyes fell onto mine, the bright-eyed blonde 21 year old student, as she wondered through the streets of the city, rambling through the avenues of time, she stopped to talk about Save The Children as my shadow played a bass clarinet.

Um... Where are you going with this, Ryan?

I pitched like Kenny Fucking Powers and knocked her off her feet (although that may have been the wind) 

Nope. It was the101MPH charity pitch!

She was convinced and wanted to sign up! Tadaaa! My first sign up! Go me. Best of all the other two got none, so I felt really good about myself that night and had a few beers and played cards with the roomies (plus one Californian guy), a g’day indeed I think you’ll agree.

So with a spring in my step this morning I got the bus over the harbour bridge to Mosman and met Samantha, who kind of reminded me of my cousin Suzanne somehow. Anyway I felt really good about today, however the location was rubbish. Imagine an ordinary highstreet with a row of shops, extend that by a few miles and then copy paste it to the other side of the road, take away the car park and you’ll have a pretty good idea of what it’s like in Mosman. It may have been better had the weather not sucked, and it may have been better if I didn’t see the same 20 people throughout the day. Nobody signed up, but one woman did take an interest as she was writing a book on children’s charities and was wondering who to contact to ask about donating proceeds from her book. There were a lot of dogs and their owners which was nice as there are no dogs in Sydney city centre. 

So a merde day and my jeans are wet, good thing I had my waterproof jacket! Now I’m back to how I was after the first day, worrying about whether they’ll actually want to keep me seeing as I didn’t get anyone to sign up today (But neither did Samantha, so it must have been the location).

It's always location location location in the charity game...

So after walking in the pouring rain listening to Whitesnake (My iPod is really awesome sometimes) I got to the hostel and instantly got cheered up by my roommates and another French girl called Lucy (she was out with us in Kings Cross), really good bunch of people, we all love taking the mickey out of our accents (French people pronounce ‘hungry’ like ‘angry’), I just had some camomile tea with the German (Zoe) and the yank (Will, who is leaving in the morning, but is a really nice guy. Definitely the nicest palaeontologist I've ever met!)

Pictured: An artist's impression of a palaeontologist

So, if this job doesn't pan out I will not be down, it has been a great experience but I fear this week is not the best for fundraising and it has dented my chances of passing my evaluation. Still, I may be too pessimistic, which is normal, we’ll see at the end of the week.

Time for bed now though, work again tomorrow, so I’ll say bon nuit!